I'm getting ready to go for one of my walks. I've been walking 2-3 miles a day (nothing fast, just steady and leisurely), and I've lost 15 pounds over the course of 5 months (I've also been watching what I eat). It's taken a LONG time, IMO, but at least the pounds are going DOWN and not UP.
During my walks, I listen to music and dream about my stories, dream about my characters, and dream about the next scene I need to write. But recently I hit a stumbling block. I got some well-meant feedback from professionals saying just how "wrong" it is to start a story off with children. This really hit home for me because my stories are mostly about children. Children facing adult issues. But children, nonetheless. If I were to take their advice, I simply wouldn't have a story. But they were pretty adamant about it, and I got so wrapped up in defending my writing that I didn't get any writing done at all! I then came down with a migraine, and because the symptoms mimic my MS, all I could think was the docs are going to put me on steroids, I'll gain all the weight back that I've lost, and I'll probably even die (the steroids almost killed me last year). Well, because I panicked, I ended up hyperventilating. For days now, I've been trying to relax and relearn to BREATHE.
Is that pathetic or what? I mean, my goodness! Get over it, Sandi. BREATHE. Forget what everyone else says, even if they ARE professionals.
I'm gonna get really honest here. The bigger houses say what's selling. In my opinion, the only reason they believe "what's selling" is because that's ALL THEY OFFER. There's nothing else out there but one genre practically. Historical romance and contemporary romance, whether it's wrapped up in a mystery or thriller, that's ALL THERE IS. So, of course that's what's selling. ARG!! THIS is the whole reason I became a writer. So I could write what I want to read, since these bigger houses didn't have a whole lot to offer on their "silver platter."
So, back to the professionals who are telling me what I can and can't write . . . I understand their concern to a point; the story needs to start IN the story, not with back story. But they're talking without having even glanced at my work. They were so harsh in fact, I got some private emails from supporters (who were also professionals and quite successful with their sales, by the way) telling me to write what God has put on my heart, and one writer who has read my work said my writing is "historical fiction at its best." Think God may have used that person to encourage me? Yes. I believe so.
I've also been told how silly it is to think that Jesus is going to be my publicist. Not that I ever came out and said that. But I sure have thought it. You see, I'm SICK. I have a debilitating disease that won't allow me to bend over backwards, upside down, and inside out to SELL my work. It doesn't mean I won't try, but I've got to depend on God to pick up my slack. And I will depend on Him to help me out.
I wrote this book for Him. It's His book. I trust He'll sell as many copies as He wishes. Of course, I hope it's A LOT, but who's to say that's even His will. So, all I can say is, I pray His will be done.
Sometimes I wonder if my writing is important to Him. I mean. Who am I to think that the creator of the universe would care diddly-squat about my little story or whether or not it's under attack? Well, the Bible does say He knows how many hairs are on my head, and that's something I could really careless about, and I love myself quite a lot. So, if He thinks it's important enough to care how many hairs I (WE) have on my (OUR) head(s), don't you think He cares about our passions?