I'M NOT A WRITER

Here's a question for writers out there. Why do you write? Is it because you have a story to tell, because you want to be published, or do you just have to WRITE?

Well, I started writing because I had to WRITE. I couldn't help myself. Words were too much a part of me. I had to find blank sheets of paper and fill them with words, with sentences, with prose that made my heart sing.

Then a story began stirring within me. From the beginning I called it IRON AND THE STONE. After I started putting the story down on paper, I realized, I had a lot to learn about the craft of fiction. So, I started studying, learning, getting my hands on anything that would teach me the ins and outs of great prose. I wanted to make sure I knew how to write before I put anymore of the one story I was so passionate about on the page. I wanted to make sure I did it RIGHT.

I spent years learning the craft, just so I could write this one story. I even impressed some editors. So much so, they talked me into doing what they do, and the next thing I knew, I became a professional editor. And then . . . I was spending more time editing than writing.

Umm, when did I plan on getting back to that one story that meant so much to me?

Well, after my health went in the toilet, and during a treatment when I wondered if I'd actually survive the night, my only regret (other than that I would be leaving four children behind without a mother, e-hem) was that I'd never been able to finish that one story. The story that meant more to me than anything else I'd written. The story I wrote for my Father in Heaven.

After my health improved, I got to work. I finished the first book, THE MASTER'S WALL, to the IRON AND THE STONE series, and it finalled in the Genesis. Because of it, a multi-published writer who read it, put in a good word for me with another multi-published writer, who hooked me up with an agent. After reading this one story, the agent took me on as her client, despite the fact that she wasn't sure if she could get it to sell because Biblical Fiction was "out." But because of this story, she believed in me. Her partner even told me she'd never seen my agent get so engrossed with reading one of the submissions. And later, my agent said: "There's nothing else like it on the market."

Now, I'm half way through the second book!

Sreeeeeeachhhhh! That's the sound of breaks. I'm being encouraged by numerous folks in the industry that because no larger houses want my story, to write something simple that they're familiar with, something that's been done before, over and over and over and over again. No . . . I'm not exaggerating. So, I came up with a series that is actually quite good (that I haven't seen done yet, believe it or not), and I'm sure if I work on it long enough, I'll feel the same passion for it that I feel for IRON . . . umm--NOT. Sorry, no story will be able to take the place of IRON. But business-wise, I can be happy with it.

So, I'm becoming like a lot of those other business savvy writers out there who write what they're told. Umm, only problem is, if I do that, I'm afraid my stories will convey the same passion that I feel! I mean, my heart is in IRON, my passion is in IRON. How do I write something else when I still haven't finished the one story I've spent years wanting to finish? Yes, I've written other stories, but I did that to learn the craft. I didn't care if I messed those stories up. But I care whether or not I mess IRON up, and well, I feel like I've got the ability to write it now. So, why can't I finish what I started? My heart yearns to finish it. I'm half way through the second book. I know I can finish it in a few months if that's all I focus on.

Yes, business is important, especially if I want to become a well-known, established author. But I also think passion is important. And well, if I go with my passion, maybe I can become a well-known, established author because I wrote a great story, a story that changed lives? If I go this route, it's possible I won't be considered a true writer. After all, I'm putting all my eggs into one basket and stubbornly writing what I WANT, not what I SHOULD.

Dare I put so much belief into just one story?

Maybe I'm simply not a writer.   Instead . . .

I'm a storyteller.