Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved but stands forever.
I just realized lately that I have NOT been trusting in God. I've recently been undergoing a lot of stress, and I've been in a panic because of it. This stress ranges from reporting my dad who is wanted, to the hospital calling us to say we have unpaid bills. Aaack!
I've been struggling and struggling to do the RIGHT THING in regards to my father. With him the lines between right and wrong become blurred. I found out he is wanted, and I told the church to look out for him. They found him and now he's turning himself in. On one hand, my heart is BREAKING! I feel so guilty!!! He's my daddy! I love him! But on the other hand, I didn't choose to break the stinkin' law! HE did! ARGGG! Just after all this, I got a call from the hospital saying we have unpaid bills that we thought were all taken care of! When that happened, all I could remember was my dad saying that God cursed me with MS because we refused to support him in his "ministry." Well, we couldn't support him in his so-called ministry for very good reasons! It would have been totally against my conscience before God if we sent him money. My dad ignores this and refutes it with scriptures, badgering us to go against what we believe to be RIGHT and TRUE. I mean, my goodness! It's moments like this that I then get angry and am GLAD he's going to jail! But even as I type those words, tears flood my eyes!! I just can't win. No matter how hard I try to do what's right, I can't win.
So, when the hospital called to say we have unpaid bills, I just lost it. I felt like everything was out of control, like there was no where I could turn! I could pray till I was blue in the face, my life was still in shambles. Hello, God! Are you there?! Are you hearing me?! What more can I do? I'm sorry! I'm sorry for anything I may have done wrong in this horrible situation!
That's when my aunt sent me a verse. This will make you laugh. It did me!
Isaiah 30:15 (emphasis is mine): "This is what the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, says: 'If you come back to me and trust me, you will be saved. If you will BE CALM and TRUST ME, you will be STRONG.' But you don't want to do that."
I had no idea the answer to my many problems was so simple. What a relief to put all this MESS in His capable hands. Thank You, God! Thank You, my precious Lord and Savior. xxx