I have a lot of answered prayers, really. God spoils me at times, so much so, He can’t be ignored.
A couple days ago, He came through for me again.
You see, I almost bled to death. I was rushed to the ER a couple nights ago. I don't even know what day it was, can't remember. . . . Okay, it was Sunday. What happened was we got these new pill holders with each day labeled. Well, I can't think clearly, so I assumed my oral contraceptive was in with all the millions of other pills. But it wasn't, so I missed taking it for four or five days. It was a misunderstanding because the contraceptive was in his own case. I basically eat pills for breakfast and dinner, so it's hard to keep track of everything. Well, because I missed the pill for so long, I started my period. Normally that wouldn't be a bad thing, but because my blood counts are already down and in a dangerous level, having a period isn't a good thing, especially when your platelets (these clot the blood) are so low. So, because my blood had no way to clot, my flow was extreme, and I went through a gazillion pads in one day.
After nearly fainting four or five times by midnight, hubby raced me to the ER. I did NOT want to go because it's horrible there, but I knew I had to. They really don’t know much about cancer patients, so I find myself explaining to them why they can or can’t do what they’re about to do!
Turned out I had lost HALF my blood! Had I stayed home, the doc said I likely wouldn’t have made it through the night. GULP He and the nurses said I gave them quite a scare, and even when the bone marrow patients go through their transplants, they don’t lose that much blood. I said, “Well, that’s good then! If I can get through this, then I can get through the bone marrow transplant without any problems.” I smiled, but they didn’t. SIGH Pray I get through the bone marrow transplant without any problems, will ya? It’s supposed to take place sometime in April. I’ll be in the hospital for a month. Yuck.
Anyway, while I was at home and wondering if I should go to the ER or not, I was lying in bed and just asked God to help us do the right thing. I also asked Him to hold me close. To come near me and drive Satan far away. I said, “You are the one in control, not him. I know he’d like me to believe he’s got the power, but I know he doesn’t, and that You, my God, are in charge. I mean, I’m you’re child, so if he wants to do anything to me, he has to get Your permission, right? So, please take charge of me, and if it be Your will, let me live!”
Well, it’s a few days later, and I now have the strength to share this with you.
I think God’s answer to that prayer is clear! I think it’s obvious who is in control and who has the power. And even if I were to have died, those things still wouldn’t have changed. The good thing about this is His answer was yes!
Thank You, God. I love You so much! I want to lie down next to You, to snuggle close and share all my secrets with You, tell You all about my dreams, knowing You will treasure them in your heart and not whisper them to others. I want to take Your hand and walk with You in our bare feet through the grass. I want to kiss Your hands, my Lord Jesus, kiss the scars on them and place them on my cheeks, knowing, trusting that You love me. You love me so much and with such passion, You gave Your life for me. Please, let me touch the scars on those beloved palms. Please, let me kiss the tips of your fingers. Please, use them to wipe away my tears. I love Your hands. Keep them on me, hold me close and give me peace.