Sunday, August 28, 2011

I'm so vain.

So, there's a picture of my "lovely" bald head on Facebook. I tried to paste it here, but for some reason, it won't work.

Here's Chelsea and Whitney instead. I'm the bald one on the right. :-) We were celebrating my daughter, Whitney's, 18th birthday. I'm so proud of the woman she's become. She truly loves God and does all in her power to please Him. I love you, Whitney. You make me proud. Happy Birthday!

Below is my grandma and me, watching the kids swim during Whitney's party. You won't be able to see some of the details of my head during my explanation below. If you're curious, drop by Facebook. You can see them there.

Anyway, here's what I had to say:

I can't believe this is me. Thank goodness it's only temporary. Notice the dent in my forehead? They cracked my skull during the biopsy of the tumor. "Lovely." It's amazing how I can still be so vain. What's it like for my four-year-old to look at me and know that freak . . . er . . . I mean, that bald, fat woman is her mother? Must not be too bad since she still hugs and kisses me, and still wants to cuddle with me. 

It wasn't easy to share this photo, and my cheeks are so hard and heavy from the steroids, I can barely smile. sigh But I felt I needed to mark this moment in my cancer history. Like I said: I'm the only one who can't lose weight on chemo. Thank God He loves me no matter what I look like. LOL, SIGH, SOB, WEEPING. All the pictures from my past that I thought were ugly are now beautiful! Even the ones below. My mom is the one in pink, and Aunt Pat is on the right. Pat helped raise me and my sis and is like a second mom to me. 

Chelsea with her Daddy at Kirsten's performance when she sang Blessings by Laura Story. 

Kirsten and Chelsea. xxx

And there's my Aaron with Daddy and Kirsten.  

Thank You, Father, that I'm still alive. Alive for my family. I'm here to continue the fight. Please just give me the strength because I can't do it without YOU.

Just a taste of those I'm fighting for. There's more, but I'm horrible at downloading these pictures.

And umm, Lord? Thank You for all the things You've taught us and continue to teach us throughout all this. I'd just like to put in a special request. When I'm healed, will You please give us all a really fun vacation? I have some places in mind (You know, here on this planet, e-hem). Just think about it, Lord. 

Loving You, my Father, my GOD . . . through the FIRE.


  1. This is beautiful, Sandi. Just as you are. Thank you for sharing!

  2. you inspire me. in so many more ways than you can imagine. thank you, Jesus, for using sandi, her life, her trials, her pain, her victories, her blessings, and the lessons she has learned along the way. sandi, Jesus has used them all to help me in many different ways. bless you.<3

  3. Sandi,
    My dear friend Jeannette Minnich sent me to your blog. I live with stage IV breast cancer, and I, too, thought I was the only one who gained weight on chemo. I'm so devastated for what you're going through. If you're interested in talking to a sister in the fight against cancer, please don't hesitate to call me. I believe we live in the same town, too, so we could do coffee, provided your taste buds don't rebel at coffee (mine did, badly.)