SAYING "GOODBYE" TO THE PAST, AND "HELLO" TO THE FUTURE

BIG CHANGES are underway.

I haven't spent much time writing on this blog. After beating cancer, I really didn't want to sit down on the couch (where I spent two whole years) and stare into my computer screen when I could be staring into my children's beautiful faces.

Since "re-learning" how to live, in January, I started homeschooling my two youngest children. I never thought I was "smart enough" to take on such a task, but a close friend (who has a teaching degree), told me I CAN do this! And . . . I CAN! YAY! Anyway, I'm homeschooling for a number of reasons. I wanted to make up for lost time, plus, they weren't doing all that well in school. So, ever since starting with homeschooling, everything is going GREAT!! They are happy to have one-on-one with Mom, and I'm happy to see them grow, make progress, and hug and snuggle with them while we read together. I will say, those first few months of homeschooling were stressful with no set curriculum and just trying to get them "caught up." There was no time for friends or writing on blogs or books. Anyway, I've learned a lot since then, and things have calmed down significantly. But one thing is certain, my God will always come FIRST, then my husband, and then my kids. Books and writing are LAST on my list.

I used to think offering one of my books to God was a big thing. After all, I wrote it to glorify Him! But I've come to realize there are greater things to bring to His throne, and it's an offering that I know without-a-doubt is pleasing to Him (not to mention, something I can take with me to heaven): My children. Now, instead of visualizing myself entering into that throne room with my book in hand, I envision myself carrying my children in my arms and laying them at the feet of my heavenly Father who gave me these precious beings to mold and shape into people who will glorify and honor Him. Only with God's strength can I be successful at doing that! Honestly, homeschooling is an amazing way to make that happen. My six-year-old no longer comes home (she did this in kindergarten) saying "Oh, my G_ _!" And I remember registering my son for preschool years ago, and one of those preschoolers was using the "F" word! Nice to know they no longer will have those "lovely" influences. They were doing very well despite those things, but it required a lot more work, keeping on them and staying ahead of the game. Not to mention hours upon hours of homework for my oldest, and hours of homework for my first-grader because she didn't complete her assignments in class, and no time to play at home after school because of that! Whew! Now, I have no one to combat but our own little selves, and the kids can PLAY like kids are meant to do! We meet up with other homeschool kids in the neighborhood, and the children go at it, having a blast!

Now, back to books . . . many of you have asked when that "third book" will be coming out. I'm afraid I've only reached Chapter Two (that was last year or so), and I haven't moved forward since. I can't write it because it's kind of "dark" like the first two books, and after spending so much time on death's doorstep, I just don't want to "go there." I also thought, if I could self-publish my book, maybe I could write it because I'd make more money. So . . . I BEGGED my publisher to terminate my contract with them for the third book so I could earn full profits on it. After twenty emails back and forth, they've put down their foot and have refused to release me of my contract. That means . . . my third book will never be written. Yes, you heard me right. My third book will NEVER be written. And what's crazy is . . . I'm RELIEVED. I begged and begged to have my book back, and finally when I realized it wasn't going to happen and had to let the story go, I surprisingly felt relief. I think ultimately, I simply didn't want to write another intense, "dark" story. Plus, chemo has taken it's toll on my brain, and focusing on a blank page, knowing I have to complete an entire novel . . . hmm. It's been a challenge.

It's really time to move on. So, I'm saying "goodbye" to the past and "hello" to the future.

And . . . I'M STARTING MY OWN PUBLISHING COMPANY! I've done a lot of work for others and their publishing companies, and I feel like if they can do it, surely I can too! So, please pray for me as I take on this new venture. Doing this actually inspires me to WRITE! I may not be able to write that third book, but I can write LOTS of other books! And I have LOTS of ideas! In the meantime, I've been editing and making some much needed money, so why not publish other authors who can't get their books into the bigger houses? There are so many amazing, talented authors with great stories out there who can't get their foot in the door with those bigger publishing companies. Well, I want to be the one to discover them and make their work shine! AND this is where I can publish my own work. The word-count can be what I want it to be, and I can write ANYTHING I want! YAY!

Life is GOOD. Thank you God for giving me a second chance!

***Click on the link to see my new (unfinished) website for TULPEN PUBLISHING.