Saturday, June 5, 2010


I'm getting ready to go for one of my walks. I've been walking 2-3 miles a day (nothing fast, just steady and leisurely), and I've lost 15 pounds over the course of 5 months (I've also been watching what I eat). It's taken a LONG time, IMO, but at least the pounds are going DOWN and not UP.

During my walks, I listen to music and dream about my stories, dream about my characters, and dream about the next scene I need to write. But recently I hit a stumbling block. I got some well-meant feedback from professionals saying just how "wrong" it is to start a story off with children. This really hit home for me because my stories are mostly about children. Children facing adult issues. But children, nonetheless. If I were to take their advice, I simply wouldn't have a story. But they were pretty adamant about it, and I got so wrapped up in defending my writing that I didn't get any writing done at all! I then came down with a migraine, and because the symptoms mimic my MS, all I could think was the docs are going to put me on steroids, I'll gain all the weight back that I've lost, and I'll probably even die (the steroids almost killed me last year). Well, because I panicked, I ended up hyperventilating. For days now, I've been trying to relax and relearn to BREATHE.

Is that pathetic or what? I mean, my goodness! Get over it, Sandi. BREATHE. Forget what everyone else says, even if they ARE professionals.

I'm gonna get really honest here. The bigger houses say what's selling. In my opinion, the only reason they believe "what's selling" is because that's ALL THEY OFFER. There's nothing else out there but one genre practically. Historical romance and contemporary romance, whether it's wrapped up in a mystery or thriller, that's ALL THERE IS. So, of course that's what's selling. ARG!! THIS is the whole reason I became a writer. So I could write what I want to read, since these bigger houses didn't have a whole lot to offer on their "silver platter."

So, back to the professionals who are telling me what I can and can't write . . . I understand their concern to a point; the story needs to start IN the story, not with back story. But they're talking without having even glanced at my work. They were so harsh in fact, I got some private emails from supporters (who were also professionals and quite successful with their sales, by the way) telling me to write what God has put on my heart, and one writer who has read my work said my writing is "historical fiction at its best." Think God may have used that person to encourage me? Yes. I believe so.

I've also been told how silly it is to think that Jesus is going to be my publicist. Not that I ever came out and said that. But I sure have thought it. You see, I'm SICK. I have a debilitating disease that won't allow me to bend over backwards, upside down, and inside out to SELL my work. It doesn't mean I won't try, but I've got to depend on God to pick up my slack. And I will depend on Him to help me out.

I wrote this book for Him. It's His book. I trust He'll sell as many copies as He wishes. Of course, I hope it's A LOT, but who's to say that's even His will. So, all I can say is, I pray His will be done.

Sometimes I wonder if my writing is important to Him. I mean. Who am I to think that the creator of the universe would care diddly-squat about my little story or whether or not it's under attack? Well, the Bible does say He knows how many hairs are on my head, and that's something I could really careless about, and I love myself quite a lot. So, if He thinks it's important enough to care how many hairs I (WE) have on my (OUR) head(s), don't you think He cares about our passions?

All I can say is, I'm passionate about my story, whether it has kids in it or not, and I'm gonna write it. I don't care what these others say. After all, they're stuck writing what everyone else has already written. There are thousands of stories just like the ones they've written. THOUSANDS!

I'm breaking the mold. And I'm trusting in the Lord to make it happen.



  1. Sandi, this is a heart cry. This is what God hears from the ones He loves. He listens. He responds. Not always like we might think or how we want Him to, but sometimes He acts exactly like we hope He will. There's no doubt He cares about you, your writing, collecting your tears, sustaining your strength in the midst of suffering.

    I do not care, and I mean no disrespect, but I do not care what the professionals say anymore other than in their personal opinions about their element in Christian fiction. Whether or not they will admit it, this game is subjective and it's limited by pseudo rules which are supposed to make writing "great". These rules and their mongers repeat mantras over and over again to the point where if every writer followed them, it would result in a bunch of clones.

    You pray about your story. If it's written the way YOU like it, the way you are fulfilled by its words, format, message, and characters: leave it be. This is you writing it, not somebody else's idea about how it "should" be written. Bring it, Girl. Do something outlandish and wow those who love your work.

    If we quietly revolt, at least we have the satisfaction of being unique. What do ya say?

    I learned quite some time ago that being "published" by a royalty house is no guarantee of "good" writing.

  2. Sorry for my delayed response. Been having computer problems.

    Thank you, Nicole. You're always an encouragement. :-)